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How NFTs will collapse civilization and destroy the planet

How NFTs will collapse civilization and destroy the planet

written by PetiShaMiaou

18 Sep 202220 EDITIONS
0.1 TEZ

Mars 2 billion years ago

The Martian civilization was prospering, the low gravity of the planet allowed them to have flying cars before they invented cryptocurrency. But one day their downfall begins, minting NFTs on proof of work blockchain already have consumed most of the oxygen of the planet and the magnificent green forests were withering.

The transition to proof of stake blockchain was already well advanced.

But at the time Mars forest was inhabited by apes due to convergent evolution. They were already very upset of all the cultural appropriation of their image in NFTs, with their habitat shrinking, they decided to invade cities.

When they took control they lacked the skill to make a full proof of stake migration and kept using the old way to mint NFTs. The planet didn't last long, all oceans evaporated and the planet turned red.

65 million years ago end of the Dinosauroid civilization

The Dinosauroids at the end of the cretaceous think they were safe, what could happen to a species that managed to domesticate tyrannosaurs and play fetch with them. They had a lot of cool animals at the time, so they went crazy on NFTs collections with every single species of dinosaurs, then look at these birds that just appeared they are even cooler.

The climate changed so radically, future scientists could not imagine the cause was something else than a massive asteroid impact, but it was NFTs.

Antediluvian period

Reported in the Bible, Sumerian tablets, Greeks and Roman sources, this one is the most studied case of the destructive power of NFTs in literature and appear in all mythologies around the world.

The great flood was caused by a runaway global warming that can only be explained by a massive minting of NFTs.

Noah made the promise to not bring any blockchain technology in the Ark, but his sons sneaked some stuff. If you wonder what the ark of the covenant contains, it's tablets with seeds of antediluvian wallets.

Atlantis

Atlantis was one of the most advanced civilization on earth. We can see in this ancient painting they were really into meme coins.

They thought they could get away a new flood by using renewable energy so they messed with the volcano on their island. They triggered a massive eruption that wiped out their civilization.

Sodom and Gomorrah

So now you may argue, if we do clean NFTs on proof of stake blockchain, things will be ok right?

At the time salt was used as a currency, it was not really convenient so the greedy people of these cities invented cryptocurrency again.

The biggest blockchain was the salt coin, proof of stake, no risk of global warming.

They had an advanced computer science technology and one a bug in a smart contract makes it want to create more salt.

The advanced IA took control of nanomachines and started infecting people, turning them into salt statues, the plague was spreading fast and the only solution was to level both cities with the last nuclear bombs left from Atlantis.

Genesis 19:26: But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

Black Death

In the mid-1300s half of the European population died. As we all know the current theory is killer rabbits. But, how the mutation that transformed innocent bunnies into killer happened in the first place?

Most of scientists at the time were jack of all trades, and were doing computer science, theology, painting, music and biology at the same time. One of them tried to launch a series of killer rabbit NFTs thinking that would be funny, they were tied to real life assets so every owner could claim one of the mutant bunny he created. And we all know of it ended.

Conclusion

This time we have no excuse, we know the facts about these ancient civilizations, and we can stop history repeating. Some people may think, we could be smarter this time and make totally clean NFTs. But today our world population is way greater than it ever was, this time the whole planet could blow up. And who knows we could create a vacuum decay bomb that could wipe out the Universe.

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